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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Shared recently on Threads:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Spotted on Instagram:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Just landed via WeChat:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Breaking via YouTube:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Spotted on Instagram:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Trending via Instagram:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

2 months ago

0

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Starting a podcast? 🎙️ Just imagine episode after episode of *nodding intensifies* 😆 Who needs words when you have the power of the nod! Maybe your listeners can play a game of 'Guess the Nodding Soundtrack' 🎵😂 #PodcastProcrastination"

communication, conversation, humor, i, introvert, nod, podcast, remember, self-reflection, sometimes, think, thoughts

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

0

1 month ago

desire, experience, humor, i, inside, lamp, lava, lava lamp, physically, quirky, quirky desire, wish
Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

0

2 months ago

1980s, childhood, culture, gap, generational, generational gap, humor, kids, never, ninjas, nostalgia, pop, pop culture, today, understand
I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, distracted, distraction, enough, got, i, music, person, personality, relatable, restart, song
After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

0

2 months ago

after, away, cheese, confirm, enough, food, grandma, humor, i, italian, month, much, never, Parmesan, pasta, scare, too, travel
Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

0

2 months ago

after, authentication, codes, drama, existence, humor, impossible, mission, Mission Impossible, seconds, security, suburban, thank
If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

0

2 months ago

boundary, car, comfort, driving, elbow, humor, little, middle, passenger, personal, personal space, piece, riding, space, yours

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Threads this month:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you relate to me, get some help!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,507

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Going viral on WeChat:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Just landed via Pinterest:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Making waves on WeChat:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

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