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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Jan 6, 2026

3,630

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Just landed via X:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Spotted on Reddit:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Broadcasted on Threads:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Trending via Slack:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

2 months ago

0

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the lost souls who sought my guidance… are they still journeying through life in circles? 🤔🚶‍♂️ May they have found their way by now, or are they still in the eternal maze of confusion? 😄🗺️ Remember: when in doubt, just follow the nearest confused person – they might just lead you to your destination! 🤪🧭"

confusion, directions, humor, i, irony, lost, me, people, travel, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

0

2 months ago

boring, humor, light, light show, lights, nature, night, phenomenon, polar, polar light, show, sky
If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

0

2 months ago

ambulance, childhood, cream, funny thought, humor, ice, ice cream truck, let, music, over, pass, passing, playful, playful question, pull, question, thought, truck
Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

0

4 months ago

compliment, everyone, here, hot, hot person, humor, interaction, nice, person, sarcasm, social, social interaction
She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

0

2 months ago

3am, 40, attraction, beautiful, fitness, humor, kind, late, late night, me, night, push-up, room
Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

0

2 months ago

demons, exercise, fitness, going, gym, health, humor, mental, mental health, self-improvement, working, working out
Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

0

2 months ago

backstory, counting, emotional, emotional investment, emotionally, humor, i, invested, investment, need, sheep, sleep, therapy, think, tried

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Seen just now on Threads:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Just landed via Messenger:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Just landed via YouTube:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Trending via Messenger:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Going bananas on Slack:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

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