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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Spotted on Twitch:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Spotted on Pinterest:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Making waves on Messenger:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Live now on WeChat:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Just shared via Discord:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

1 month ago

Funny quote about missing people who once asked for directions, playful and witty.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the lost souls who sought my guidance… are they still journeying through life in circles? 🤔🚶‍♂️ May they have found their way by now, or are they still in the eternal maze of confusion? 😄🗺️ Remember: when in doubt, just follow the nearest confused person – they might just lead you to your destination! 🤪🧭"

confusion, directions, humor, i, irony, lost, me, people, travel, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Threads this month:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

17 shares on Threads this month:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

24 shares on Slack this month:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Breaking via Discord:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Seen just now on Telegram:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Just shared via YouTube:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Trending via Threads:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Trending via Reddit:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

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