Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Live now on Threads:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Spotted on X:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Funny text about unrequited love with playful, cheeky humor.

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Commentary:
"Sorry boys, but my heart is like a GPS – it's already set on a destination that doesn't involve a U-turn! 🚫👀😜"

boys, date, eyes, guy, humor, interest, rejection, relationship, sorry

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

20 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

18 shares on X this month:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

How did Satoshi write the code of Bitcoin before Claude?

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

This whole week could have been an email.

Making waves on Slack:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Seen just now on Discord:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Live now on Threads:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Trending via WeChat:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Spotted on WeChat:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

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Activity Log ✨

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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