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Commentary:
🌋 Sorry I missed your call! 🔥 I saw your name popping up and thought, "Better make a sacrifice to the volcano gods!" 📵 Hope my phone call to Mother Nature was worth it! 🤣 #VolcanoLife

active, call, calling, excuse, humor, i, missed, phone, response, saw, sorry, volcano

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

0

2 months ago

again, comedy, fall, falling, humor, i, irony, procrastination, repetition, sarcasm, say, self-awareness, whatever
“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

0

2 months ago

billiards, favorite, favorite hole, favourite, game, hole, humor, i, me, playful, playful remark, pool, pool table, remark, sport, table
I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

0

2 months ago

bite, entertainment, food, good, humor, i, just, priorities, procrastination, refuse, single, something, take, watch
To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

0

2 months ago

animal, bed, both, breakfast, food, hay, horse, humor, play, play on words, pun, words
I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

0

2 months ago

blind, hear, hearing, i, illegal, interest, someone
I have the sex drive of a potato.

0

2 months ago

comparison, drive, humor, i, potato, relationship, self-deprecation, sex, sex drive, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on YouTube this month:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

22 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

I run a parody bank account.

58 shares on Discord this month:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Live now on Facebook:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Making waves on YouTube:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Trending via Reddit:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Live now on Slack:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨