Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,313

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Just landed via TikTok:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Trending via WeChat:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Just landed via Pinterest:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Seen just now on Reddit:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Going viral on X:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

4 weeks ago

Witty quote about Sunday humorously suggesting time travel from Friday.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the mystic art of weekend teleportation! 🚀🕒 Fridays vanish faster than my willpower at a dessert table! 🍰😄

day, Friday, humor, just, proof, Sunday, time, time travel, travel, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Less talkie. More kissie.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

55 shares on Threads this month:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Really hate when I’m watching a movie, and I can see that they are acting.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Just landed via Instagram:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Going bananas on Discord:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Breaking via Discord:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Spotted on Pinterest:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Going viral on Messenger:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Every time I turn around, it’s Monday.

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Every time I turn around, it’s Monday.

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨