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Commentary:
Sure, I guess you could say my pantry is a treasure trove of antique seasonings! 🌶️🧂 Who needs vintage furniture when you have spice jars from the late 1900s? 😄 #SpiceUpYourLife #PantryAntiques

antique, collection, count, food, humor, i, irony, late-century, pantry, spice, spices, sure

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

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2 months ago

always, autumn, beverage, coming, cozy, forget, forgetfulness, habits, hot, hot beverage, i, myself, seasonal, seasonal habits, self-care, tea, time, winter
I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

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2 months ago

eating, food, humor, i, me, motivation, person, self-improvement, strive
Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

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2 months ago

door, humor, just, lock, safety, somebody, thinking
I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

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2 months ago

9, after, age, age-related, age-related humor, ask, bedtime, coming, definitely, humor, humor about age, late, late night, me, night, night out, nightlife, where
Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

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2 months ago

accident, clothing, coffee, humor, shirt, spill, violence, white, white shirt
Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

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2 months ago

body, change, color, color change, every, eye, eye color, eyes, funny idea, humor, idea, little, rub, rubbing, should, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

47 shares on Slack this month:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

80 shares on Discord this month:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Spreading quickly via X:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Just landed via Discord:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Trending via Slack:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Going viral on YouTube:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨