Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew the real issue was not in talking to animals, but in expecting a response back? It's a fine line between Dr. Dolittle and Dr. Delusional!"

animal, back, conversation, crazy, hearing, humor, imagination, talk, talking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

2 months ago

angry, angry man, estate, happiness, having, home, home value, humor, know, man, positivity, real, real estate, relationship, value
It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

2 months ago

anticipation, believe, crazy, election, hard, humor, months, over, politics
Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

3 months ago

apology, being, confusion, conversation, every, everything, explode, explosion, humor, i, just, me, multitalk, same, sorry, talk, thing, time, try, weird
My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

2 months ago

bartender, business, humor, interaction, me, mind, privacy, rest, social, social interaction, trauma
Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

2 months ago

hate, honesty, humor, i, insult, liar, only, sarcasm, stupid, stupidity, thing
He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

2 months ago

$10, dating, humor, personality, relationship, traits, volume

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Threads this month:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

35 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Just shared via YouTube:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Breaking via Twitch:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Breaking via Snapchat:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Spreading quickly via X:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨