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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Jan 5, 2026

3,276

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Breaking via TikTok:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Just landed via Slack:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Trending via Twitch:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Making waves on Telegram:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Trending via Instagram:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

2 months ago

0

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to persuade an introvert to attend a party is akin to sending a saint on a sinful adventure to Hell – it's a recipe for an existential crisis! It's like asking a turtle to join a hare for a sprint, or a penguin to audition for 'American Idol' – a mismatch of epic proportions!"

anxiety, comparison, discomfort, funny comparison, hell, humor, introvert, party, saint, social, social anxiety

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, comparison, cup, energy, humor, me, motivation, Popeye, second, spinach
Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

0

2 months ago

culture, entertainment, Europeans, humor, lot, read, shows, stereotypes, suck, television
I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, choice, drink, humor, i, joke, lifestyle, personal, personal choice, raw, suffering
I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

0

6 months ago

betrayal, breakup, cheating, concert, end, even, found, got, hard, humor, husband, i, irony, linkin, Linkin Park, matter, me, music, park, relationship, tried
I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

0

4 months ago

bag, bags, buy, chanel, Chanel bag, excitement, friend, friends, i, luxury, me, random, shopping, spontaneous, treat yourself, Tuesday, wait
I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

0

5 months ago

dialogue, head, humor, internal, internal dialogue, me, much, self, self-doubt, starting, think, voice

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Twitch this month:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

74 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

13 shares on Discord this month:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

We’ve got a shituation here.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,250

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Trending via Discord:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Breaking via Slack:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Trending via Discord:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Trending via Messenger:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Making waves on Twitch:

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

Making waves on Reddit:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

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