Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,274

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Shared recently on Slack:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Going viral on WeChat:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Just landed via Threads:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Seen just now on Threads:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Making waves on Threads:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Spotted on Discord:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Shared recently on Discord:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Rolling with laughter at this one! 🌿😂 My joints are very supportive of this message! 😜💨

God, gratitude, humor, i, joint, joints, law, marijuana, medical, medical marijuana, need, pain, pain relief, relief, state, state law, thanks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, around, dislike, dislike socializing, every, hate, having, homebody, house, humor, i, introvert, leave, people, personal, personal space, relatable, remember, social, social anxiety, socializing, solitude, space, time, why
I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

0

2 months ago

communication, fandom, fluency, humor, i, love, people, reference, references, Spongebob
I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

0

5 months ago

ago, animal, animals, better, cat, cat owner, easily, failure, food, giving, holy, humor, i, judge, just, organ, organ failure, owner, pet, pets, shit, starve, stubborn, taste, time, too, used, weeks, whim
Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

0

2 months ago

call, humor, marriage, night, phone, relationship, ring, sleep, wake
Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

0

2 months ago

admit, gender, humor, men, mistakes, relationship, women
The dragon with the girl tattoo.

0

5 months ago

dragon, girl, tattoo

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on YouTube this month:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

63 shares on X this month:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

10 shares on Discord this month:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Spotted on TikTok:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Trending via TikTok:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Making waves on Pinterest:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Trending via Slack:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨