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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Trending via WeChat:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Making waves on X:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Making waves on Messenger:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Spotted on Slack:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
Rolling with laughter at this one! 🌿😂 My joints are very supportive of this message! 😜💨

God, gratitude, humor, i, joint, joints, law, marijuana, medical, medical marijuana, need, pain, pain relief, relief, state, state law, thanks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

1 month ago
battery, caffeine, coffee, craving, cutting, eat, energy, humor, i, need
Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

1 month ago
accident, accidentally, humor, important, life, responsibility, ruining, stress, work
When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

1 month ago
accident, crime, death, humor, man, manslaughter, tickle
My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

1 month ago
awkwardness, being, brand, dance, effort, fun, guest, humor, personal, social, wedding
I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

1 month ago
absurdity, conversation, flowers, going, humor, nature, need, speak
Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

1 month ago
bullied, chatter, conflict, food, head, humor, inner, inner conflict, mental, mental chatter, stomach, voices

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Going viral on Reddit:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Making waves on YouTube:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Just shared via YouTube:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Just landed via Facebook:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

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Activity Log ✨

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

You wish you had this many chins.

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

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Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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