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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Just landed via WeChat:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Seen just now on Slack:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Spotted on WeChat:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's feeling a bit frosty! 🍟❄️ Better bring out the ketchup and warm up those icy vibes! 🔥😂"

cooking, food, french, french fry, fry, humor, joke, me, playfulness, pun, romance, thaw

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

0

2 months ago

always, convenience, efficiency, fear, free, humor, much, people, quick, retail, scared, self-checkout, shopping, something, technology
I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

0

2 months ago

activity, advanced, another, humor, i, observation, people, people-watch, spot, watch, watcher, watching
Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

0

4 months ago

bed, breakfast, cute, food, gross, humor, morning, practice, theory
Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, day, days, fatigue, humor, morning, needs, tired, today
The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

0

2 months ago

accuracy, accurate, bible, close, close range, humor, irony, range, throw
A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

0

4 months ago

fabric, filled, much, needle, nostalgia, sewing, tomato

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

62 shares on Threads this month:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Just shared via Discord:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Trending via Instagram:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Just landed via Threads:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Breaking via YouTube:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨