Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Seen just now on Slack:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Live now on Messenger:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Just shared via Discord:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Trending via Telegram:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Trending via LinkedIn:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Shared recently on Threads:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Going viral on Telegram:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

6 months ago

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the true superpower of impeccable timing! 💫 That uncanny ability to part ways with something just before its redemption day is a special skill indeed. 🕰️ Who needs a superhero cape when you can master the art of perfectly mistimed decluttering? 🦸‍♂️🗑️ #ThrowItAwayRightBeforeINeedIt

exactly, holding, humor, i, irony, need, procrastination, stuff, superpower, throwing, timing, week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Spotted on YouTube:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Spotted on TikTok:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Breaking via WeChat:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Going viral on Twitch:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

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