Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,322

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Going viral on Discord:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Going bananas on Threads:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Making waves on Telegram:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Freshly posted on Instagram:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Going bananas on Slack:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's what happens when you cross a flock with a bad case of the munchies! 🐦💨😂

angry, Angry Bird, assault, bird, birds, bong, disgusting, game, humor, me, parody, video, video game

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

2 months ago

car, disconnect, humor, level, self-deprecation, singing, talent
Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

2 months ago

back, feeling, going, humor, just, lunch, motivation, office, return, struggle, vacation, work
One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

2 months ago

adult, after, back, blues, hardest, long weekend, Monday, Monday blues, motivation, office, productivity, returning, things, weekend, work
Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

2 weeks ago

dating, hell, humor, i, know, relationship, spot, take, woman, women
Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

2 months ago

apology, confidence, delete, humor, media, mistake, please, post, pretty, reply, sarcasm, self-deprecating, social, social media, stupid, wit, yes
I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

2 months ago

alternate, alternate dimension, curiosity, dimension, humor, i, parallel, parallel universe, self, universe, wonder

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

83 shares on Threads this month:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

90 shares on Threads this month:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Trending via WhatsApp:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Trending via Reddit:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Seen just now on Threads:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Just landed via Reddit:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Spotted on TikTok:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨