15 funny birds quotes - Wordgag

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

May 18, 2026

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Apr 1, 2026

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Mar 31, 2026

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Mar 31, 2026

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Mar 31, 2026

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Mar 30, 2026

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Mar 30, 2026

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Mar 29, 2026

I have friends in high places (birds).

Mar 29, 2026

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Mar 29, 2026

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Mar 29, 2026

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Mar 29, 2026

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Mar 26, 2026

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Mar 25, 2026

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Mar 22, 2026