The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Commentary:
“Can you imagine the surprise on their face? 😱 Talk about a feathered heart-stopper! 🦚💥 #peacockproblems”

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

    Commentary:
    Well, it seems like some people have a talent for asking questions at the most inconvenient times! Who knew that pondering the existence of stupid questions could lead to such a hilariously ironic wake-up call? Just remember, even if you’re asleep, your sense of humor is always wide awake!

  • “How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, the infamous job search question – a true emotional rollercoaster! 🎢 First of all, asking about it is like poking a sleeping dragon. Second, it’s like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube blindfolded! 🤷‍♂️ One simply cannot predict the mysteries of the job hunting universe!”

  • You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

    Commentary:
    “Remember, you don’t need to convince anyone of your humanity… unless you’re dealing with those pesky captchas! 🤖🔒 #ProveYoureNotARobot”

  • Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

    Commentary:
    “🤖 Oh, if only life had a reset button! 🔄 Imagine the convenience of restoring ourselves back to factory settings whenever things go haywire. 🏭 Just think – no more accumulated junk files or software glitches! 😄 Alas, we must make do with the quirky updates and bugs life throws at us instead. 🐞 Who knows, maybe embracing our unique quirks is what makes life interesting! 🌟”

  • Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

    Commentary:
    “Sorry, I can’t join you tonight – my mortgage and I are having a cozy Netflix date. Gotta make sure my money feels appreciated! 💰🏠 #HomebodyLife”

  • The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

    Commentary:
    “James Bond: saving the world one perfectly adjusted hotel shower at a time! 🚿💼 License to kill… time while figuring out the water temperature. 😎🌍 #007Plumber”