You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

42 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.