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Commentary:
"Looks like the Egyptians were pyramid schemers in more ways than one! 🛸🇪🇬 Don't you hate it when you build a massive ancient wonder only for aliens to steal the spotlight? 👽 #AlienBuilders"

aliens, built, conspiracy, credit, Egyptians, history, humor, pyramid, pyramids, scheme

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

1 month ago
attitude, humor, i, lord, me, mouth, office, oh, prayers, sarcasm, sass, today, work
I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

4 months ago
ask, conversation, excuse, got, honesty, humor, i, interaction, lying, media, outside, people, social, social interaction, social media, telling
I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

5 months ago
child, crypto, explaining, explanation, friend, humor, i, imaginary, imaginary friend, misunderstanding, nine-year-old, said, sell, selling, someone, sounds, tried, trying
Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

1 month ago
clueless, committed, humor, self-deprecating, vibe
I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

1 month ago
acceptance, awkwardness, food, hate, humor, i, offer, situation, social, social situation, someone
Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

1 month ago
apologize, embarrassment, every, hearing, humor, i, me, person, recording, self-reflection, voice

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Seen just now on Discord:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Just shared via WeChat:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Live now on TikTok:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

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Activity Log ✨

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

I put the mess in domestic.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

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The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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