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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is โ€œso yeahโ€ฆโ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

WFH is so great until you realize youโ€™ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,699

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on Telegram:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Spotted on Reddit:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Spotted on Reddit:

Remember, if you start with, โ€œItโ€™s crazy to thinkโ€ฆโ€ you can say whatever you want.

Just shared via Slack:

Commenting โ€œAI slopโ€ under pictures of my friendsโ€™ kids opening presents.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Just landed via Threads:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Breaking via Facebook:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

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Commentary:
"Imagine stumbling upon the house from Hansel and Gretel, only to find it magically transformed into a delicious taco paradise! ๐ŸŒฎ๐Ÿ  Now that's a spicy twist on a classic tale that is sure to leave your taste buds wanting more! Just make sure not to nibble on the walls, or you might end up attracting some very hungry taco-loving witches! ๐ŸŒฎ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜„"

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars โญ

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

You donโ€™t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Have you ever โ€œaccidentallyโ€ eaten a family sized bag of chips?

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

50 shares on Threads this month:

Alexa, mute my children.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids wonโ€™t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

49 shares on Threads this month:

I love men with a provider fetish.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I find as I get older itโ€™s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Keep your friendโ€™s toast and your enemyโ€™s toaster.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,261

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as Iโ€™ve gotten older.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has shared:

I donโ€™t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT โ€“ I have teenagers who already know everything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has downloaded:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

In high school I was voted โ€œmost likely to hold a grudgeโ€ and Iโ€™m still mad about it.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Spotted on YouTube:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Spotted on Twitch:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Spotted on YouTube:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out itโ€™s just the politics.

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