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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,312

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Going bananas on Telegram:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Live now on Discord:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Trending via Threads:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Going viral on YouTube:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

3 weeks ago

Funny text about a taco house inspired by Hansel and Gretel's candy home.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine stumbling upon the house from Hansel and Gretel, only to find it magically transformed into a delicious taco paradise! 🌮🏠 Now that's a spicy twist on a classic tale that is sure to leave your taste buds wanting more! Just make sure not to nibble on the walls, or you might end up attracting some very hungry taco-loving witches! 🌮🧙‍♀️😄"

fairy, fairy tale, fantasy, food, Gretel, Hansel, house, humor, taco, tale, whimsical

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Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Slack this month:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

38 shares on Threads this month:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Spotted on YouTube:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Going viral on Telegram:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Seen just now on Threads:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

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