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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I always stop the microwave before it beeps because it’s not the boss of me.

Just shared via Threads:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Trending via Facebook:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Freshly posted on X:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Going viral on Facebook:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Just landed via Threads:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Making waves on Instagram:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

3 weeks ago

Funny text about a taco house inspired by Hansel and Gretel's candy home.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine stumbling upon the house from Hansel and Gretel, only to find it magically transformed into a delicious taco paradise! 🌮🏠 Now that's a spicy twist on a classic tale that is sure to leave your taste buds wanting more! Just make sure not to nibble on the walls, or you might end up attracting some very hungry taco-loving witches! 🌮🧙‍♀️😄"

fairy, fairy tale, fantasy, food, Gretel, Hansel, house, humor, taco, tale, whimsical

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on X this month:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

23 shares on X this month:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

36 shares on Slack this month:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

62 shares on Messenger this month:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

14 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Trending via Twitch:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Making waves on Facebook:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Live now on X:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

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