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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,366

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Going viral on Reddit:

Body by sandwich.

Just shared via YouTube:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Making waves on Reddit:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Seen just now on Facebook:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Spotted on Facebook:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine stumbling upon the house from Hansel and Gretel, only to find it magically transformed into a delicious taco paradise! 🌮🏠 Now that's a spicy twist on a classic tale that is sure to leave your taste buds wanting more! Just make sure not to nibble on the walls, or you might end up attracting some very hungry taco-loving witches! 🌮🧙‍♀️😄"

fairy, fairy tale, fantasy, food, Gretel, Hansel, house, humor, taco, tale, whimsical

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Discord this month:

I always stop the microwave before it beeps because it’s not the boss of me.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

80 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

60 shares on Slack this month:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the funny, awkward silence breaker you want to see in the world.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Self-cleaning conscience.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Elevator music is bad on so many levels.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,324

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Just shared via Reddit:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Seen just now on Slack:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Making waves on Discord:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Spotted on Reddit:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

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