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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Just landed via Messenger:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Shared recently on X:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Spotted on Discord:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Making waves on TikTok:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Trending via Pinterest:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Just landed via Messenger:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Just landed via YouTube:

Strict parents raise good liars.

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about the audacity of younger people, humorous and playful in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, isn't it just rude of time to keep marching forward like that? 🕰️🤷‍♂️ It seems the universe didn't get the memo that we're supposed to stay perpetually young and hip. Maybe we should start a petition to halt this aging business – who's with me? 📝😂 #ForeverYoung #TimeFlies

age, being, dare, generation, humor, i, majority, me, meet, nerve, people, perspective, younger

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Threads this month:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

28 shares on WeChat this month:

I need to consult the woods about this.

17 shares on Discord this month:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

20 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

100 shares on Slack this month:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,378

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Going viral on WeChat:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Going bananas on Messenger:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Spotted on WeChat:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Spotted on TikTok:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Spotted on TikTok:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Trending via Instagram:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Spotted on Threads:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

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