Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,396

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Just shared via Threads:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Breaking via Threads:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I call it "karaoke confidence" 🎤😅🎶

bad, bad singer, community, heart, humor, music, passion, people, self-expression, sing, singer, singing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

0

2 months ago

alive, being, cool, ever, existence, horror, humor, irony, life, peace, sex
Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

0

2 months ago

brain, ever, having, humor, just, little, magnificently, read, reconcile, something, space, stare, stupid
I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

0

4 months ago

appearance, attractiveness, being, easier, going, hotter, humor, just, motivation, nicer, personality, sarcasm, self-confidence
Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

0

2 months ago

40s, age, challenge, diet, fitness, humor, laugh, lol, losing, weight
Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

0

3 weeks ago

cookie, deity, holiday, humor, leaving, literally, making, milk, offering, Santa, tradition
Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

0

2 months ago

always, am, amazement, curiosity, doing, everyone, humor, i, introspection, know, life, life observations, myself, observations, self-awareness, self-reflection, think, time, uncertainty, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

73 shares on X this month:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Just landed via Facebook:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Making waves on WeChat:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨