Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Spotted on Facebook:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Just landed via Telegram:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Making waves on TikTok:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Keeping civilization intact, one vintage upload at a time! 🕰️📽️🔗

culture, holding, internet, movie, old, old movie, people, preservation, society, together, upload

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

0

2 months ago

app, creepy, dating, humor, interaction, relationship, social, social interaction, technology
I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

0

2 months ago

again, bag, blood, blood pressure, fit, free, handy, humor, i, irony, kit, never, once, pressure, relatable, stuff, take
Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

0

2 months ago

am, ask, before, humor, i, kids, parenting, patience, patient, people, self-reflection, stupid, yourself
I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

0

5 months ago

ask, conversation, excuse, got, honesty, humor, i, interaction, lying, media, outside, people, social, social interaction, social media, telling
What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

0

2 months ago

boy, favorite, funky, funky music, music, playing, song, white, white boy
My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

0

5 months ago

add, ever, every, flag, humor, i, iPod, just, liked, liked song, music, playlist, playlists, red, red flag, shuffle, song, songs, Spotify

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Instagram this month:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

43 shares on X this month:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

84 shares on Slack this month:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

34 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Making waves on Slack:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Making waves on Facebook:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Making waves on X:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨