Skip to content
  • Privacy
  • Disclaimer
  • Terms & Conditions
Wordgag

10,000+ Funny Quotes

  • ⚡ Funny Quotes Slot →
Popular Topics 🚀
mental health routine satire exercise after comfort childhood relationships stop better memory thought old wish eat nature change honesty movie myself everything office own sorry travel Christmas laziness self-care pun trying self anxiety fashion girl talk around actually here experience name ID men snack thinking misunderstanding next coffee friendship marriage used
Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 6304 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

17,813 funny quotes topics

Updated: May 23, 2026

 

 

 

 

29 Funny holding quotes

Funny holding quotes bring a smile to those moments when patience is tested ⏳😂 Whether you’re stuck in a never-ending phone queue or waiting for that perfect pizza delivery 🍕⏰, these witty lines turn frustration into laughter. Ready to embrace the art of holding with humor? Let’s dive into some hilarious gems that prove good things come to those who wait—and laugh along the way! 😄🎉

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

Posted onMay 19, 2026

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Posted onMay 18, 2026

Smoking a cigarette and holding it with both hands.

Posted onMay 18, 2026

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Posted onMar 27, 2026

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

© 2026 Wordgag Inc.

>>> Random Quotes ✨