The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

The phrase "don't take this the wrong way" has a 0% success rate.

Commentary:
Oh, the classic preface to a statement that almost guarantees it’ll be taken the wrong way! 🤣 It’s like saying “brace yourself for offense!” 😂 “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m about to unintentionally offend you” – works every time! 🤷‍♂️ #0PercentSuccessRate

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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    Commentary:
    When someone says “Don’t let me keep you!” what they actually mean is “Please exit the premises immediately, I beg of you! 🚪💨” Just remember, polite language can sometimes hide savage intentions! 😂 #ReadingBetweenTheLines

  • Killing me softly with his schlong.

    Commentary:
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  • It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the eternal debate between Becestershire and Worcestershire – a tale as old as thyme! 🧐🌿 Let’s hope they can ketchup and relish the flavor of their differences! 🍅😄 #SaucyTales

  • There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

    Commentary:
    Oh, dear! Looks like someone’s giving new meaning to the term “over-the-shoulder viewing.” 🤭🍸 Remember, folks, a little privacy goes a long way, especially when it comes to choosing what to watch over a cocktail! 😉📺 #BarEtiquetteGoneWrong

  • When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

    Commentary:
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  • “You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

    Commentary:
    Looks like your cat’s got some real estate ambitions! 🐱💼 Better watch out before he starts investing in catnip futures and litter box condos. 😂 #Catpreneurship