The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

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Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

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Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

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Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

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Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

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The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

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I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

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I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

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My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

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Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

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My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.