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New funny quotes: 6 this month

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

44 Funny size quotes

Funny size quotes 😄 are the perfect way to add a dash of humor to your day! Whether you’re short, tall, or somewhere in between, these witty quips 🎈 playfully embrace every inch of height with a chuckle and a wink. From elevating your mood to bringing a smile to your face, they’re the ultimate reminder that size doesn’t define us—our laughter does! So get ready to giggle 😂 and celebrate the joy of being uniquely you!

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Posted onMay 30, 2026

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

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