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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

3 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Reported on Discord:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Just landed via Twitch:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Going viral on Slack:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Just landed via Twitch:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

5 months ago

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

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Commentary:
Ah, November – the time when turkeys are feeling a bit nervous, while treadmills are gearing up for their moment in the spotlight come January! 🦃💪 It's all about perspective and priorities, right? So, let's embrace the turkey trot and treadmill dash with equal enthusiasm! 🏃‍♂️🤣 #ThanksgivingGoals

feel, fitness, holiday, humor, irony, January, November, treadmill, turkey

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

3 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Spotted on Slack:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Shared recently on Reddit:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Trending via Facebook:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Just landed via Slack:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

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