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Ah, November – the time when turkeys are feeling a bit nervous, while treadmills are gearing up for their moment in the spotlight come January! 🦃💪 It's all about perspective and priorities, right? So, let's embrace the turkey trot and treadmill dash with equal enthusiasm! 🏃‍♂️🤣 #ThanksgivingGoals

feel, fitness, holiday, humor, irony, January, November, treadmill, turkey

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I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

1 month ago
adulthood, always, aunt, family, humor, i, lot, money, myself, realization, responsibility, thought
The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

1 month ago
bathroom, breaks, drink, health, humor, hydrated, hydration, less, productivity, stay, staying, staying hydrated, water, work
Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

4 months ago
anything, commitment, drunk, equivalent, exaggeration, giving, happen, humor, manifesto, me, politician, promise, sarcasm, unreliability
I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

1 month ago
aid, hearing, hearing aid, joke, off, tired, turn, turn off
Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

1 month ago
confession, everyone, faith, full, great, great news, humor, irony, news, priest, recovery
Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

1 month ago
activity, comedy, experience, fear, fun, fun activity, horror, horror movie, joy, me, movie, personal, personal experience, skinny-dip, swimming

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

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All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

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I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

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Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

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4 out 3 people struggle with math.

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Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

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The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

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You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Shared recently on X:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

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Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

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When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

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I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

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The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

For the record, I use a turntable.

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

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The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

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