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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Jan 6, 2026

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Trending via Reddit:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Seen just now on X:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Seen just now on Telegram:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Just shared via TikTok:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

2 months ago

0

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, Kevin's parents clearly missed out on the booming real estate market! 🏠😂 Maybe if they invested in a security system instead, poor Kevin wouldn't have to MacGyver his way out of trouble every Christmas! 🚨🔒 #HomeAloneRealEstateBlunders"

$250K, alone, comedy, home, home alone, house, just, Kevin, know, movie, nostalgia, parents, re-watching, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

0

2 months ago

creativity, day, gift, humor, husband, i, present, relationship, shirt, thought, twice, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

0

2 months ago

comedy, disorderly, drunk, fun, humor, pairing, relationship, together
Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

0

2 months ago

book, enough, guy, humor, irony, notes, observation, reading, saw, words, writing
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

0

5 months ago

advice, away, cleaning, disgusting, dish, dish sponge, hear, hygiene, i, kitchen, know, needs, sponge, throw
Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

0

2 months ago

bed, eyes, humor, longing, miss, sad, sleep, tiredness, water, yawn
My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

0

2 months ago

account, commitment, dating, Hotmail, humor, relationship, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Discord this month:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

72 shares on Discord this month:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

30 shares on YouTube this month:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

72 shares on Discord this month:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Spotted on Facebook:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Trending via Twitch:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Trending via Slack:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Freshly posted on X:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Going viral on YouTube:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Shared recently on Facebook:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Just landed via YouTube:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

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