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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,824

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Seen just now on Slack:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Going viral on TikTok:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Trending via Snapchat:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Just landed via Facebook:

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

Going bananas on Reddit:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Going bananas on Threads:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Trending via X:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Just landed via Twitch:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Breaking via TikTok:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

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There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"From heroic K-9s to… poop-strategist extraordinaire! 🐶💩 Let's just say, every dog has its own 'special talent'! 😄 #PoopPrecision"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Discord this month:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

19 shares on Discord this month:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,673

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Just landed via TikTok:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Spotted on YouTube:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Making waves on Facebook:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Making waves on WeChat:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

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