14 funny poop quotes - Wordgag

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

May 26, 2026

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

May 25, 2026

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

May 22, 2026

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

May 22, 2026

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

May 22, 2026

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

May 21, 2026

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

May 21, 2026

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

May 19, 2026

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

May 18, 2026

The biggest difference between my toddler and me is that if I had poop on my butt, that’d be priority #1.

May 6, 2026

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Apr 1, 2026

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Apr 1, 2026

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Mar 31, 2026

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Mar 30, 2026