funny guide quotes - Wordgag

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

May 19, 2026May 19, 2026

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Mar 30, 2026

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Mar 30, 2026

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Mar 27, 2026

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Mar 25, 2026

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Mar 25, 2026