24 funny pet behavior quotes - Wordgag

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

May 23, 2026

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

May 22, 2026

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

May 22, 2026

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

May 20, 2026

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

May 20, 2026

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

May 20, 2026

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

May 19, 2026May 19, 2026

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

May 19, 2026

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

May 19, 2026

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

May 19, 2026

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

May 19, 2026

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

May 19, 2026

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

May 18, 2026

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Apr 1, 2026

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Mar 31, 2026

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Mar 31, 2026

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Mar 31, 2026

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Mar 31, 2026

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Mar 30, 2026

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Mar 30, 2026

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Mar 30, 2026

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Mar 28, 2026

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Mar 27, 2026

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Mar 27, 2026