There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

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Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

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I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

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Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

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Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

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Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

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Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

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Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.