Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Going viral on Telegram:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Going viral on TikTok:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Going viral on Telegram:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Shared recently on Slack:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Spotted on Telegram:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Going viral on Messenger:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When in doubt, choose the pretty one—who needs honesty when you have looks? 😂💄✨

attraction, cheat, cynicism, dating, humor, just, lie, manipulate, pick, pretty, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

0

2 months ago

costume, creativity, Halloween, humor, i, just, kite, prank, put, sexy, tampon
You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

0

2 months ago

curse, curse word, family, funny moment, moment, music, play, realization, song, word, words
Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

0

4 weeks ago

babe, communication, humor, manic, manic thought, media, relationship, social, social media, thought, thoughts, today, tweet, wrong
According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

0

2 months ago

anything, believe, humor, irony, people, perception, research, skepticism, study
I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

0

2 months ago

bad, creativity, font, handwriting, humor, i, individuality, just, own, self-expression, writing
Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

0

2 months ago

discomfort, excuse, feels, humor, i, right, sensory, sock, sorry, talk, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

That fight could’ve been an email.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Shared recently on Threads:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Just shared via Slack:

Sane is boring.

Breaking via Reddit:

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

Live now on Discord:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Going viral on Threads:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Shared recently on TikTok:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨