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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

341 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,934

Funny Quotes Topics

17,104

Funny Quotes Images

14,934

Updated

Dec 14, 2025

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Just shared via Twitch:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your coffee needs its own coffee to function ☕😴💤

beverage, caffeine, coffee, frustration, humor, i, morning, need, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have more trips planned than I have money.

1 month ago

budget, finance, humor, i, money, planned, planning, travel, trip
The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

1 month ago

activity, childhood, fun, fun activity, gap, humor, joke, outdoor, outdoor play, outside, play, playing, playing outside, resume
If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

1 month ago

AC, cold, cold preference, heat, humor, invite, keep, lizard, me, please, preference, temperature, terrarium
I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

1 month ago

chase, humor, me, murderer, outrun, reassurance, safety
Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

2 months ago

autocomplete, disappointment, entertainment, finish, help, humor, movie, name, Netflix, streaming, technology, tell, typing
Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

1 month ago

anger, angry, article, author, footnote, here, humor, never, reading, research, skip, writing

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Making waves on TikTok:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Broadcasted on Threads:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Making waves on Reddit:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Spotted on TikTok:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Just landed via Reddit:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

I have more trips planned than I have money.

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

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This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I have more trips planned than I have money.

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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