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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Breaking via Telegram:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Trending via Pinterest:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Going viral on X:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Tastes like my gym membership just got revoked 😂🥗➡️🍪"

dieting, fat, food, humor, ID, salad, sarcasm, taste, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

1 month ago
age, AI, being, digital, digital age, gap, generational, generational gap, having, humor, internet, irony, parents, technology, tell, thanks, told, trust, us
My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

1 month ago
care, family, humor, hygiene, kids, late, less, management, parenting, personal, personal hygiene, running, running late, somewhere, time, time management
Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

1 month ago
curiosity, dental, dentist, explore, humor, i, joke, mouth, too, why
Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

1 month ago
abyss, comedy, contact, customer, customer service, dark, dark comedy, existential, humor, important, scream, service, thank, thank you
There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

1 month ago
arrested, comedy, crimes, humor, jail, Jaws, movie, sequel, shark, should, where
I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

1 month ago
action, action scene, always, comedy, dialog, flashbacks, frustration, mixed, mixing, movie, movie volume, neighbor, never, scene, sound, sound mixing, understand, understanding, volume, war, war flashbacks

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Making waves on Facebook:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Trending via TikTok:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Live now on Telegram:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

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This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏