29 funny salad quotes - Wordgag

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

May 24, 2026

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

May 23, 2026

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

May 22, 2026

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

May 22, 2026

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

May 22, 2026

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

May 22, 2026

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

May 21, 2026

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

May 21, 2026

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

May 21, 2026

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

May 21, 2026

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

May 20, 2026

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

May 20, 2026

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

May 20, 2026

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

May 20, 2026

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

May 20, 2026

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

May 20, 2026

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

May 20, 2026

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

May 19, 2026

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Apr 1, 2026

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Apr 1, 2026

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Apr 1, 2026

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Mar 31, 2026

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Mar 31, 2026

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Mar 31, 2026

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Mar 30, 2026

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Mar 29, 2026

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Mar 29, 2026

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Mar 28, 2026

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Mar 28, 2026