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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

50 shades of single.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,586

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Just landed via Threads:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Seen just now on Slack:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Breaking via Messenger:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Shared recently on Threads:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Just landed via Threads:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Making waves on Reddit:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Spreading quickly via X:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate battleground for professional nitpickers! 🙃🗣️🤔

anything, argue, argument, community, debate, discussion, humor, literally, online, online community, people, site

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

0

2 months ago

always, blocking, buffer, climax, enough, humor, i, just, need, Pornhub, prank, relationship, revenge, someone, videos
They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

0

2 months ago

before, buy, estate, experience, funny idea, ghost, haunted, haunted house, home, house, humor, idea, just, let, night, real, real estate, rent, should, spend, sure
I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

0

2 months ago

age, coat, detective, encounter, fashion, funny encounter, humor, i, looking, man, me, random, randomness, trench, trench coat
The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

0

2 months ago

balcony, disgusting, humor, i, neighbor, person, polite, sarcasm, shout, sneeze
Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

0

2 months ago

bra, exercise, fitness, humor, just, me, Olympics, sports, sports bra, struggle, summer, sweat, swimming, wrestling
If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

0

2 months ago

activity, before, breaking, breakup, Christmas, date, dating, deviled, deviled egg, egg, eggs, exchange, feeding, fun, fun activity, gift, gift exchange, gifts, start, Thanksgiving

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on X this month:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

40 shares on X this month:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

11 shares on X this month:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Trending via YouTube:

Avocado is just green butter.

Going viral on Slack:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Going viral on Telegram:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Live now on Facebook:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Trending via Facebook:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Trending via Pinterest:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Live now on WeChat:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨