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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Spotted on Reddit:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Going viral on Threads:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Shared recently on Threads:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Seen just now on Messenger:

At least life has music.

Just landed via Discord:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

0
Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the stomach – always so straightforward and honest! 🤣🍴 Unlike the sneaky brain which keeps us guessing most of the time! Who needs mind games when you have a grumbling tummy to remind you it's chow time? 😂 #FoodAlwaysWins"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

26 shares on X this month:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

74 shares on Twitch this month:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

26 shares on Discord this month:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

47 shares on Slack this month:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,585

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Spotted on Snapchat:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Making waves on Facebook:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Just landed via Twitch:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Trending via Messenger:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Spotted on X:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Going viral on Telegram:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Spotted on Slack:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

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