Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,372

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Just landed via Twitch:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Trending via Slack:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Just shared via Discord:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Live now on Reddit:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Trending via WeChat:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Live now on Instagram:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When "aflame with desire" sounds like a candle commercial 😂🔥💃

better, elegance, elegant, expression, gorgeous, horny, humor, language, need, sounds, vocabulary, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situations, disappointment, family, humor, i, parents, people, relationships, same, situations, threesome, time, visit, want
I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

0

5 months ago

calorie, fitness, frustration, humor, i, loss, rage, skinny, weight, weight loss, wish
I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

0

2 months ago

am, expression, face, honesty, humor, i, reaction, responsibility, talk
Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

0

2 months ago

annoying, conversation, God, humor, interaction, me, oh, response, sarcasm, ugh, wit, yes
It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

0

2 months ago

30, cut, escalator, frustration, humor, inconvenience, minutes, power, power cut, stand, standing, sucks, waiting
People should come with warning labels.

0

5 months ago

humor, interaction, label, labels, people, personality, should, social, social interaction, warning, warning label

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Reddit this month:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

81 shares on Discord this month:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

75 shares on Discord this month:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

61 shares on Slack this month:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Live now on Pinterest:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Breaking via Twitch:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Just landed via Messenger:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Going viral on X:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Just landed via Reddit:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

People should come with warning labels.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨