Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I was dropped as an adult.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Just landed via Messenger:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I need money, not feelings.

Going viral on Facebook:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Making waves on Discord:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Shared recently on Telegram:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Trending via WeChat:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

2 weeks ago

Clever and funny text about parental delays and forgetfulness in parenting.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless parent trickery of the "in a minute" promise – code for "let's hope they get distracted and I can avoid this task altogether!" 🕒🧒🏼👧🏻 Parenting 101: When in doubt, distract and evade! 😉🤷🏻‍♂️ #ParentingStruggles #MasterOfDistraction

communication, expectations, forget, humor, i, kids, minute, parenting, procrastination, saying, something, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

59 shares on Discord this month:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

36 shares on X this month:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,421

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Trending via TikTok:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Making waves on Slack:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Seen just now on Discord:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Going viral on YouTube:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

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