Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.
  • Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.
  • Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.
  • If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.
  • A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?
  • I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.