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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ถ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

I canโ€™t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

When someone asks why you donโ€™t have kids just say โ€œdingoesโ€.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,408

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via Reddit:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if youโ€™re good at it or not.

Live now on TikTok:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Just landed via Reddit:

Itโ€™s only 9am and Iโ€™ve already ruined my sonโ€™s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Going viral on TikTok:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Breaking via Slack:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you donโ€™t know anything to make your life easier.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

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When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.
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Commentary:
"Sending nudes to the cloud – aiming for heavenly approval! ๐ŸŒฅ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‡ #GodsReview"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Social Media Stars โญ

83 shares on X this month:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think Iโ€™m an idiot and wonโ€™t find out the truth.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Donโ€™t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

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Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Ok, new plan, Iโ€™m gonna marry a Kardashian.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

A Southerner dies every time you people type โ€œyaโ€™llโ€ instead of โ€œyโ€™all,โ€ btw.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

April Foolโ€™s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,331

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has shared:

All Iโ€™m saying is that Iโ€™m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

Coffee doesnโ€™t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

I donโ€™t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Just shared via Discord:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Just landed via Slack:

Sorry, Iโ€™m late. I found my old CD collection.

Making waves on Discord:

My therapist said cutting people off isnโ€™t healthy. Sheโ€™s next.

Shared recently on Slack:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Breaking via Slack:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Going viral on X:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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