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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Just shared via Instagram:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Seen just now on X:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Live now on Messenger:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Going viral on Twitch:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Making waves on WeChat:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Just landed via Pinterest:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Spotted on Slack:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Whoever came up with a 30-minute lunch break must have confused ‘break’ with ‘snack’! 🍔🕒😂 Maybe they were just hangry and needed a time-out for a full meal refreshment! Time to rethink those productivity-enhancing punishment tactics! ⏰🥊"

30, beating, break, came, frustration, humor, lunch, management, minute, needs, time, time management, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Threads this month:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

60 shares on Instagram this month:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

21 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

34 shares on Discord this month:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,250

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Trending via Slack:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Going bananas on Threads:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Trending via TikTok:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Live now on YouTube:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Going viral on Facebook:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

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