Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,938

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Just shared via Reddit:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Just landed via Messenger:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Legend has it, their day started in a cucumber and took a briny twist 🥒😂 #SaltyAdventures"

day, expression, humor, humorous, idiom, joke, pickle, said, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

1 month ago
bad, humor, nature, only, oxygen, plant, planting, produce, technology, thing, too, trees, Wi-Fi, wifi
My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

1 month ago
air, air conditioning, back, comfort, conditioning, favorite, heat, humor, i, indoors, inside, sarcasm, summer, where
Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

1 month ago
deed, feeding, good, good deed, humor, irony, punishment, seagull
Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

1 month ago
diva, divisibility, divisible, humor, insult, joke, math, math joke, number, number theory, numbers, okay, only, playful, playful insult, prime, prime number, theory, yourself
That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

1 month ago
again, crazy, hear, me, moment, never, person, realization, realize
I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

1 month ago
advice, going, good, harder, humor, i, lawyer, need, smarter, work

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Just shared via Facebook:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Just landed via YouTube:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Shared recently on Facebook:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏