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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Making waves on WeChat:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Just landed via Facebook:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Seen just now on X:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Live now on X:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Legend has it, their day started in a cucumber and took a briny twist 🥒😂 #SaltyAdventures"

day, expression, humor, humorous, idiom, joke, pickle, said, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

0

2 months ago

chakra, cigarettes, humor, joke, mysticism, relaxation, spiritual
Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

0

2 months ago

average, captcha, confidence, human, humor, irony, just, self-awareness, smarter, universe
There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

0

2 months ago

celebration, day, enemy, humor, Instagram, love, opposite, photos, post, rivalry, should, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day, where
If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

0

2 months ago

attempt, failure, humor, persistence, significant, statistically, statistically significant, success, times, try
How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

0

2 months ago

am, appreciation, confidence, forget, humor, i, life, love, me, positivity, self, self appreciation, self-love, silly
Happy new fear!

0

2 months ago

celebration, fear, happy, humor, new, new year, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Discord this month:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

55 shares on Instagram this month:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

69 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

67 shares on Threads this month:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

64 shares on Threads this month:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Trending via Instagram:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Seen just now on Slack:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Just shared via Instagram:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Trending via WhatsApp:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Spotted on Threads:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Just landed via Discord:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Just landed via Threads:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Happy new fear!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨