Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Breaking via Twitch:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Freshly posted on X:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Making waves on WeChat:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Weekends should come with a pause button, but they only give us a fast-forward remote! ⏩😂

always, feel, feeling, five, humor, lasts, minutes, relatability, time, weekend, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

0

2 months ago

attitude, humor, life, me, playful, please, sarcasm, self-deprecating, spoiled, trying, unspoiled, witty
Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

0

2 months ago

couple, crime, grammar, humor, i, just, liquor, liquor store, me, robbery, store, wife
If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

0

2 months ago

child, energy, first child, humor, nature, parenting, second, second child, sleep, trick, unpredictability
If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

0

2 months ago

apple, expectations, fall, family, genetics, humor, kids, parenting, screwed, tree
Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

0

2 months ago

combination, contrast, delicate, emotion, fierce, heart, nature, strength, wildfire, wildflower
If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

0

2 months ago

asleep, driving, exhaustion, fall, humor, nap, pillow, road, road trip, sleep, steering, steering wheel, trip, wheel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Twitch this month:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Seen just now on Facebook:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Live now on Twitch:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Trending via Discord:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨