Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Making waves on Threads:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Shared recently on Telegram:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Trending via YouTube:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Going viral on YouTube:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Funny text about a kid crying in store, playful and humorous tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'supermarket serenade' – where the soundtrack is always set to the tearful ballad of a child's woes. 🛒🙉 Remember, it's not your wallet singing the blues… so shop on, unfazed shopper, shop on! 💸😂"

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

98 shares on Discord this month:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

79 shares on X this month:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

10 shares on Threads this month:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Broadcasted on Facebook:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Just landed via Instagram:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Going viral on TikTok:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Just landed via X:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Going bananas on Twitch:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴