Why touch grass when you can touch ass? Posted onApr 1, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:Priorities, am I right? πππΏ Related funny posts π€ In my 20βs: I want to find true love. In my 40βs: I just want a toaster that gets me. I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants. I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash. Touch my butt, not my coffee. Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?