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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

Itโ€™s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has viewed:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,949

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on WeChat:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Breaking via Slack:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Going bananas on Reddit:

He said he thinks Iโ€™m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Making waves on X:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Trending via TikTok:

Sheโ€™s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Canโ€™t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Seen just now on Slack:

Weโ€™ve had far more storms since we started naming them. Weโ€™re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

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Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.
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Commentary:
Oh, the dramatic struggle between the wine connoisseurs and the impatient wine lovers! ๐Ÿท๐Ÿ’จ Maybe they should give the wine a tiny CPR course to revive it faster? ๐Ÿ˜„ Remember, folks, wine is for sipping, not for saving! Cheers to letting the grapes do their thing in peace! ๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿท

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Social Media Stars โญ

76 shares on Slack this month:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

32 shares on Instagram this month:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Iโ€™m going to be a printer today and just not work.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

69 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing ruins an introvertโ€™s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

54 shares on Threads this month:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why thereโ€™s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

30 shares on Slack this month:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering thatโ€™s not what they do.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My brain doesnโ€™t sea typos until Iโ€™ve already hit send.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Valentineโ€™s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,873

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

You can be under 25, just donโ€™t do it around me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

My daughterโ€™s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

Broke my work phone. I canโ€™t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on Discord:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Making waves on Instagram:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Just shared via Threads:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Just shared via Reddit:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Making waves on Telegram:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Just shared via Reddit:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Just landed via X:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Going viral on Reddit:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

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