Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Just one quick peek at the internet… said every person ever, before embarking on an epic journey down the endless rabbit hole of cat videos, memes, and conspiracy theories. 🌐😂 #ProcrastinationGoals"

delay, distraction, humor, i, internet, just, laziness, need, procrastination, thing, whole, yes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

0

2 months ago

alert, anticipation, humor, interaction, me, past, sneak, unexpected
It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

0

2 months ago

future, humor, hundred, irony, laugh, laughter, live, mistake, mistakes, nothing, people, perspective, say, time, us
If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

0

6 months ago

again, determination, door, going, humor, just, motivation, open, persistence
At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

0

2 months ago

always, Christmas, finance, holiday, humor, invoice, joke, outstanding, payment, reference, seasonal, time
College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

0

2 months ago

bottle, campus, college, humor, humor quote, independence, just, laptop, life, resilience, student, student life, study, water, water bottle, world
I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

0

2 months ago

bus, condition, die, fast, humor, i, joke, life, reference, speed, urgency, walk, where, wherever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

39 shares on X this month:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Going viral on Messenger:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Live now on Threads:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Freshly posted on X:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Spotted on Instagram:

January is the Monday of the year.

Just landed via Twitch:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨