28 funny delay quotes - Wordgag

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

May 30, 2026

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

May 30, 2026

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

May 29, 2026

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

May 29, 2026

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

May 29, 2026

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

May 29, 2026

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

May 28, 2026

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

May 28, 2026

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

May 28, 2026

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

May 28, 2026

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

May 28, 2026

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

May 27, 2026

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

May 27, 2026

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

May 27, 2026

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

May 27, 2026

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

May 26, 2026

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

May 25, 2026

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

May 24, 2026

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

May 23, 2026

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

May 21, 2026

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

May 21, 2026

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

May 21, 2026

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

May 20, 2026

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

May 20, 2026

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

May 20, 2026

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

May 20, 2026

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

May 19, 2026

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

May 19, 2026