Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Shared recently on Telegram:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Breaking via TikTok:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Seen just now on Slack:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your Uber driver shows up with a seesaw, you know it's going to be a long ride 😂🚂⬇️⬆️

around, cart, guy, guys, humor, nostalgia, push, push cart, railroad, railroad track, seesaw, track, transportation, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

2 months ago

communication, couple, dark, dark humor, humor, intimacy, kill, relationship, sentence
I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

2 months ago

casual, celebration, comfort, eve, humor, new, New Year’s Eve, outfit, relaxation, sweatpant, sweatpants, year’s
Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

2 months ago

beauty, haircut, healthcare, humor, medical, satire, self-care, should, wellness
It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

2 months ago

anticipation, believe, crazy, election, hard, humor, months, over, politics
They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

2 months ago

around, aspiration, character, costume, darth, Darth Vader, dress, dressed, humor, i, job, parody, say, vader, walk, want
People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

2 months ago

able, being, call, coming, feel, feel good, good, healthy, humor, i, office, people, productivity, should, time, time off, today, want, waste, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

14 shares on X this month:

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

30 shares on Discord this month:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

31 shares on Discord this month:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.

43 shares on Discord this month:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Just landed via Slack:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Trending via Threads:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Trending via Messenger:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Going viral on X:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Spotted on Twitch:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Going bananas on Telegram:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨