Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,712

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Live now on TikTok:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Shared recently on Slack:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Freshly posted on X:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Spotted on Snapchat:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

24 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty remark about how old-fashioned push carts on tracks are no longer seen.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your Uber driver shows up with a seesaw, you know it's going to be a long ride 😂🚂⬇️⬆️

around, cart, guy, guys, humor, nostalgia, push, push cart, railroad, railroad track, seesaw, track, transportation, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

93 shares on Threads this month:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

29 shares on Slack this month:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

The void screams into me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Trending via Instagram:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Going viral on Reddit:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Just landed via Messenger:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Making waves on Instagram:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Live now on Slack:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Just landed via Slack:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Just shared via YouTube:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨